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| Artwork by Luke Cheuh |
Have you ever been faced with a decision that is seemingly simple but is so hard you become utterly consumed by your inability to just commit? Recently I have been so incredibly indecisive and I thought I should say a little something about that... and non-attachment. Because decisions and attachments almost always come hand in hand.
Living in the grey area is not beneficial to anyone and can actually be really annoying to the people around you. Who doesn’t love the friend who when you say “hey wanna go for dinner” responds confidently with “ya for sure meet me at (set destination) at 8”. Or “hey Baby, wanna stay in and watch a movie tonight?” and you get a bold “Yes. That sounds amazing I’ll pick us up some brutal chick flick, be over at 8”... this is my heaven! Take the decision out of my hands and I am one happy hippie. *side note: please do not confuse indecisiveness with being flaky. Being easy going and generally down for whatever doesn't make you a flake. BUT with that being said, being indecisive is one of my most hated attributes in other people so when it shows up so evidently in my own life, I hate myself for not being more definitive. At a certain point you you just have to DECIDE. Pick something and avoid the ANGST that will inevitably take over the longer you mull 'it' over. One thing I do know for certain is that the glass is most definitely always half full ;)
So where does all of this come from. Hard decisions are all around us. Where to live, what job to take, where to go for your next vacation, who to invite to your Christmas party, what carpet to buy, what outfit to wear to a big interview or a fancy event, red pumps or classic black booties? Where do you stop the worry, the doubt, the fears and just jump? I say JUMP! Life is too short. And sometimes our gut isn’t speaking loud enough, or our intuition is getting bad reception or you are simply just so 50/50 that flipping a coin and leaving it up to the Queen and the caribou is the best available option.
If you asked any of my yoga students they would (with love in their hearts) tell you I talk too much. I always eat up the first 10 min of class with some sort of story, message, or theme for class. This week, I was adamant about the theme and practise of non-attachment.
In the Yoga Sutras (1.12-1.16), Pantanjali explains the two core principles on which the entire system of Yoga rests:
Practice (abhyasa, 1.13) and
non-attachment (vairagya, 1.15) It is through the cultivation of these two principles that the other practices evolve, by which mastery over the mind allows the realization of the true Self (1.3).
Abhyasa/Practice: Abhyasa means having an attitude of persistent effort to attain and maintain a state of stability (1.13). This involves cultivating practices, actions, thoughts and intentions that serve this purpose. To become deeply rooted, this needs to be done for a quite some time. Through this consistency, the deeper practice continues to unfold, going ever deeper towards the direct experience of the eternal core of our being.
Vairagya/Non-attachment: The essential companion to practice is non-attachment (1.15), learning to let go of the many attachments, aversions, fears, and false identities that are clouding the true Self. This is where most of us come face to face with our own sense of suffering.
Practice and non-attachment work together. Practice leads you in the right direction, while non-attachment allows you to continue the inner journey without getting sidetracked into the pains and pleasures along the way. There are two directions that one can go in life as well as individual actions, speech, or thoughts. One direction is towards truth, reality, Self, or spiritual realization. The other direction is opposite, and involves those lifestyles, actions, speech, and thoughts that take one away from these higher experiences. Discrimination is key! To cultivate non-attachment, it is necessary to become better and better at discriminating between what actions, speech, and thoughts take you in the right direction, and those which are a diversion. No one ever said the inner journey was easy.
There will come a time in all of our lives when we have to let go of everything we've become accustomed to in order to accept who we
truly are. Every time I set foot on my yoga mat I am reminded to follow my truth, to trust my intuition and to let go of those intimidating thoughts that tell me I can’t be, have or do what I really, truly want. Yoga has taught me many things, yes, but most importantly Yoga has taught me to slow down and breathe deeply into my heart and simply listen. Listen to the pauses between the breath and focus on what my heart needs in order to feel whole.
Practice every day and letting go will get easier. Practice every day and the layers of fog, dirt, muck, pain, sorrow – whatever your veils of indecision and attachment look like, will start to dissolve and all that will be left is what truly matters. Cherish the people you love, be true to yourself and nothing can ever disappoint you.
Love is what is left when you
let go of all the things you love.
Believe it.
K x
